You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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