He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
