i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Is her dick bigger than yours?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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