girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
