I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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