I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
