2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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