I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
