There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
