Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
