Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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