And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
