peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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