It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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