you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I just put wine in my tea
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
