I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
