his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
