I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
