At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
