i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize