I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
