hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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