Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
