it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
