zippers are such a cool invention
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize