me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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