god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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