mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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