A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
