Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
