Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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