miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
