It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
