what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
