I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
