Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
