Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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