tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
