Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
