I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
