Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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