you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
