For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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