i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
