Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
