Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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