her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
