I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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