It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
