Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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