epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
