I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
