the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
