my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
