So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
