i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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