i just had sex bonerless
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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